


Tony's not that bad.

by Snap_pdf



Category: Captain America, Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017), The Avengers
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Anxiety, Bucky Barnes Feels, Bucky Barnes Needs a Hug, Bucky Barnes Recovering, Bucky Barnes Remembers, Civil War Team Iron Man, Good Peter, Heavy Angst, Hurt Peter, Protective Bucky Barnes, Team IronMan, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, forgive me Father for I have sinned
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-22
Updated: 2018-09-24
Packaged: 2019-07-15 15:18:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,591
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16065854
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Snap_pdf/pseuds/Snap_pdf
Summary: Bucky isn't who he used to be, and he's trying to become a mixture of his old and past self. Yet, the hate from Steve and everyone on Tony is slowly tearing Buck apart.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> wow angst angst galore baby ;)))  
> And no this isn't Bucky x Tony, I just love Bucky and I also stan A king (Tony Stank)

Bucky isn't as he used to be. He's quiet now, patient, understanding… well, he tries to be. Sure he can lash out on people but most of the time he's too nice, quiet, and shy to even _slightly_ raise their voice at anybody. Bucky isn't how he use to be in the 30s. He's not playful, he's not a lady killer, and he certainly isn’t happy all the goddamn time. Bucky doesn’t remember the sound of his voice. He forgets he can speak whenever he wants to, he forgets people want to actually talk to him, he forgets that he’s James “Bucky” Barnes and not the Winter Soldier.

He doesn’t remember how he became friends with Steve, or how Sam doesn’t seem to care when Bucky walked around without his metal arm or how Natasha doesn't mind when Bucky changes languages from English to Russian in a heartbeat.

Bucky feels bad when Steve looks for “Bucky” but finds James instead. He doesn’t like it when people call his name because Bucky doesn’t remember who that use to be. Shuri and everyone in Wakanda calls him the White Wolf… but… but he feels like he doesn’t deserve that titles. Did everyone forget he killed many _many_ people?!

Barnes doesn’t deserve all this love and care and a new _arm_! He doesn’t deserve anything.

He thought that when he met Tony Stark, Tony will prove all of his points right.

But he didn’t. Tony gave him a place to rest, new clean clothes, and a place to call “home”. Tony designed his room to have the least amount of technology as bucky gets used to the Modern Era. Tony lowers down on all of the technology in the compound just to commodate for Bucky. Tony not only fights for him but for the whole team against the UN, against the media, against _everyone_ just to have The ex-rouges be cleared of any crimes. Bucky doesn’t understand why Stark’s intern is incredibly sweet to him even if the kid knows why the Avengers fell apart. And Rhodes has forgiven Bucky, and Scott gushes at Bucky’s everything, and everyone acts like he’s always been a part of the team, part of the family.

Bucky doesn’t understand why everyone is so nice, and he feels like he doesn’t deserve it, but he’s glad he has it.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is not #TeamCap Friendly btw ; /

The first time James heard somebody talking bad about Tony was at 9 pm. Everyone was retiring to their rooms to head to sleep and Peter had gone home. Barnes walked around the compound to get to know his surroundings and remember where everything was so he didn’t have to walk in on Sam flexing in front of the mirror again. In the daytime, the tower was fun and bright. Employees used the elevator to go up or down floors, watching New Yorkers walk home, to work, or to visit a friend made Bucky feel pride and also a sense of… of creepiness.

His city, New York, became the best goddamn city in the whole world. Subways hid underneath the ground, trains went around buildings, and the New York ferries took people to islands on water! And Brooklyn? Oh geez, don’t get him started on Brooklyn! The place he grew up became so beautiful and calming to the eyes, and Coney Island was a whole other experience.

Yet the fact that Bucky is the world’s most wanted assassin put him on edge. At any moment an employee can take the wrong floor, see Bucky eating cereal in his boxers, and call authorities and say that the worlds most wanted ex-criminal is literally _living_ in the compound.

Bucky shook his head.

He needs to remember these hallways like he remembers that Steve likes it when the edges of a pie are crisp and crunchy. Bucky doesn’t know why he knows that, but he does and its valuable information.

Bucky walked down the hallway passing Stark’s kid’s room, and then the kid’s small lab. Inside the lab he heard two people talking, one talking louder than the other.

It was Steve’s voice. Steve was louder than the other guy, and he sounded angry.

“How long has it been? 6 years already?!” Bucky hadn’t ever Steve talk to someone like that.

“Tony!” Steve was talking to Stark apparently. “You still haven’t changed. You still are that selfish asshole.”

Bucky felt his breathing stop. Tony? Selfish? No way. An audible gasp fell from his lips, and he left the scene hoping no one heard him or saw him.

 

-

The second time he heard someone giving Tony crap was the ex-avengers grouping together to bash on the man. They, the ex-avengers, were all in the common room just generally talking and hanging out as they usually did. Tony’s intern, Peter, had left earlier today for some reason. As Tony walked into the room it fell somewhat silent. Stark seemed tired. Visible eye bangs hung from his face, his eyes were red from the lack of sleep, and he wore a large frown on his face. The billionaire took a seat on a sofa by himself. Bucky couldn’t help but feel like it was his fault that the man was so tired.

They started talking but Bucky was too busy focusing on Tony. The billionaire rubbed his eyes and temples, his elbows rested on his knees and his hands held his head from falling. Tony took slow deep breaths, it seemed to Bucky that Tony was having a panic attack but Bucky couldn’t be sure.

“That kid? He’s your intern?” Natasha asked Tony.

“Yeah. He is,” Tony’s shoulders tensed at the mention of Peter. Bucky wouldn’t say that he or the other Avengers were close to Pete, but they had a few normal conversations. Peter seemed a lot more relaxed around Scott, when the man came to visit of course, and Rhodey. Around Wanda he made tons of jokes, near Natasha he was silent but smiling, near Sam and Clint they joked around together, around Bucky himself he could hold a normal conversation. And lastly, with Steve… well, Bucky hadn’t ever seen Peter and Steve talking one on one.

“Why’d you get an intern anyways?” Sam asked. If anyone was the least rude around Tony it was Scott and then Sam. Vision sort of... _ignored_ Tony. The rest, besides Rhodes and Peter, all genuinely seemed to be disrespectful around him as if it was their job to do so.

“Well… after you all left, Vision disappeared and Rhodey went to do his military things. I needed help, a lot of help, and so I hired him,” Tony’s arms wrapped around his figure. He’s obviously uncomfortable talking about his intern.

“Don’t you think you're ruining his childhood innocence? He’s just a kid after all,” Natasha didn’t blink. Bucky flinched. Tony? Ruining a kid?! No way! Whenever Bucky saw the two together he saw a bond so strong that a “father-son” relationship couldn’t even _begin_ to describe it.

Tony opened his mouth to speak but Clint interrupted him.

“It’s crazy that he hasn’t run away yet. With how selfish you are, you probably don’t even take care of him correctly. I mean, Tony Stark? A _dad_? Ha,” Clint smirked and Sam chuckled a bit too. Bucky’s arms tensed up, his fingers tapped on his knees violently.

_No._

He tapped in Morse code.

_No._

They were wrong.

_No._

“Or are you and the kid something more than friends?” Steve asked. Bucky hoped that he wasn’t implying what he thought he was saying.

Tony bolted from his seat and opened his mouth like he was about to yell. Everyone got into a defense position, obviously ready to attack, but them man clenched his fist and left the area.

Steve shook his head.

Bucky looked over at Steve, was this the man that Bucky grew up with and became best friends? Because if he did, then Bucky has terrible taste in friends.

 


	3. Chapter 3

* * *

Bucky tried to ignore the loud yelling in his head for the next few nights, the yelling that told him to stand up for Tony once and a while. It bothered him all night, and he tossed and turned hoping it would go away.

James knew that Tony had a rough past. Alcoholism, one-night stands, selfishness, all that jazz made his past become a terrible thing and it ruined his reputation too. By the looks of it, the ex-avengers still thought that Tony Stark was a terrible man.

Bucky couldn’t take it anymore. He couldn’t take 2 weeks of nightmares and self-hatred anymore. He threw the sheets off himself and walked to where Steve was.

Yeah, Steve was a jerk but he was also his only friend.

Plus it was early, Sam had joked around that Bucky was becoming an old man for sleeping at 8 pm, but Bucky has laid in bed for 2 hours mentally yelling at himself.

Bucky passed the kid’s lab to head down to the training room where everyone was, but he stopped himself when he heard it.

Sobbing.

Loud uncontrollable sobbing.

Cries of a man that hasn’t let himself live.

Cries of someone that has felt the feeling of disappointment and failure his whole life.

Bucky’s fingers twitched unconsciously, his arms tensed, his nose flared, and his back straightened. He peeked inside Peter’s lab.

Tony.

Tony sat there.

He was kneeling on the floor. He was clutching his chest tightly, his body trembled. The sound of tears dripping onto the wood paneling made Bucky's heart clench.

“ _I’m sorry_ ,” He heard. “ _I don’t deserve you._ ” Tony cried, his voice cracking. Bucky’s breathing became staggered, is this how the man felt? Is this what Stark hid from the Avengers? Who was he talking to? Himself? Bucky swallowed a gulp. His guilt level shot through the roof. All this time and Tony was hurting inside, every word that the ex-avengers said probably stabbed him. 

 _“I’m sorry I’m failing you_.”

Then, what Bucky considers the worst thing he has seen, a small hand reached out to touch Stark’s back. Those hands lifted Stark and pulled him into a tight hug. Those hands, so small and fragile, holding on so tightly to an older man’s body.

“Mr. Stark you have never failed me.”

And then Bucky’s heart broke into a million pieces, each part getting lost forever. This man, a billionaire, someone who can snap his fingers and have anything he wants, kneeled on wooden paneling apologizing to a sixteen-year-old for being a “failure”. Tony didn’t deserve that. Tony doesn’t deserve to be apologizing for doing absolutely nothing wrong, he doesn’t deserve having to take care of Steve and Bucky and everyone else, he doesn’t deserve the stress or anxiety or depression or the constant snobs from the UN.

A tear fell from Bucky’s eyes.

He had enough.

James walked down the hallway.

He had enough of Clint’s shade.

Loud footsteps were heard throughout the building.

Enough of Natasha’s personal questions that made Tony feel inferior.

A metal hand grasped the doorknob and tore the door from the frame.

And enough of Steve’s… steve’s _everything_!

“Buck! Are you alright?” Steve looked up from his sketchbook. Clint and Natasha stopped sparing, Sam stopped hitting the punching bag, Wanda and Vision stopped their talking and they all looked at Bucky.

Bucky’s throat tightened, and he let go of the broken door in his hand.

“No. No, I’m not,” Bucky growled. “I’m not fucking alright. I’m not alright, and it’s not alright how you are all treating Stark like he’s an enemy.”

Wanda opened her mouth to talk.

“No! Let me talk,” Bucky’s nostrils flared and his eyebrows furrowed. “You’re all treating him like he’s some sort of bad guy. Guess what? He’s not! You know what he’s doing for us right? He’s talking with some asshole government officials about the accords trying to remove _all_ of my murderers!  _All_ of them! Do you know how many people I killed? In the hundreds! I killed so many people I lost track! He's trying to clear _all_ of your crimes, _trying to fucking help us_ . He’s giving us a place to sleep, a place to eat, a place to stay clean. He’s giving you assholes a place to stay away from the government while Tony works his ass off to help us. You… you fucking dickheads have the _audacity_ to treat him like human garbage.”

“Do you want to know what I saw? Just right now?” Tears fell from Buck's eyes. “I saw that man  _kneeling_ on the goddamn _floor_ , crying his heart out! Crying so much you could hear his sobs from Cali-fucking-fornia! He was apologizing for being a “terrible mentor”, for being a “disappointment”, for “failing”. You wanna know who he was saying that too?”

Everyone stayed silent. Bucky swallowed the lump on his throat. The immense pain he felt when he saw... that. Words couldn't describe the feelings of regret, of despair, and of grief. “He was saying that to his _kid_ ,” He whispered but said it loud enough so they could hear. You could pretty much hear everyone’s guilt, their sweat rolling down their foreheads, the cracking of their knuckles, and they all felt… felt gloom.

“He thought he was failing his kid,” Bucky’s voice was low. “And you want to know what Peter did? Peter got on his knees and hugged Stark, and hugged him so tight and-”

Bucky stopped talking, he _couldn’t_ talk anymore, his hands covered his mouth and his head fell. He was afraid that if he kept talking something would fall out that he didn’t want to say. Tears poured out from his eyes like waterfalls, he wept and sobbed so loud that it terrified _Natasha_ . Arms tried to wrap around him but he pushed them away. Everyone knew it was serious business when they saw _James Buchanan_ _Barnes_ cry and push away Steve Roger’s comforting arms.

“How do you all dare to be cruel to him? After all he’s doing? After what you did to him?” Bucky struggled to talk. “You left him. All of you!” Bucky looked at Steve directly. Steve was the one who left him dying, Steve was the one who didn’t talk to him, Steve was the one who started it.

“And after all of this, you still-” Bucky shook his head. “You still hurt him.”

The silence in the room was deafening. Whoever spoke first lost because they all know Bucky was right.  Their guilt finally revealed itself.

“And,” Bucky started again. “If you can’t do it for Tony, do it for the kid. He just watched his mentor, the person he looks up to, beg on his knees crying for forgiveness.”

-

Bucky pulled Peter from the group the next day. He begged for forgiveness. He asked Peter to apologize for the shit that everyone put on Tony, he asked that Peter wouldn’t kill them all, and he explained to Peter that he would never have to see what he saw last night again. Bucky was so serious about it he got on his knees and begged like a dog because this kid didn’t need to see his father-figure cry his guts out.

Peter was obviously hiding his sadness for a long time because the second Bucky kneeled down, Peter fell on him. The teenager cried, grasping onto Bucky. The sixteen-year-old explained to Barnes that he hated Steve, he hated Natasha, he hated Clint and Sam and Wanda and Vision and everyone! Everyone that left Tony, everyone that hurt him, everyone that made Tony act like this. Peter told Bucky he couldn’t forgive Steve, he couldn’t forgive them no matter how hard he tried. Peter told Bucky that Mr. Stark was trying so hard, and the ex-avengers just crashing into his life and making him relapse wasn't helping his effort to become better.

Bucky hugged Peter tighter.

Peter told Bucky that Scott had already apologized. He explained that Scott swore on his daughters life that he wouldn’t ever make Tony feel worthless again. He explained that Scott was shaking so much when Peter forgave him, that Peter gave him a big hug. He explained that Scott then apologized to Tony.

Bucky hugged the teenager even more. A wet spot was his shoulder but he didn’t mind.

And when Peter stopped crying he forgave Bucky. He forgave Bucky, and he would try to forgive the others but he wouldn’t promise anything.

Bucky accepted it.

-

Peter took Bucky to Stark’s lab. When Bucky went inside, it was a lot more larger than he expected. Tony swirled on his seat with a smile, obviously thinking only Peter was there, but when he saw Bucky his smile fell.

“Barn-”

“I’m sorry,” Bucky couldn’t hold his tears. “I’m sorry they suck. I’m sorry Steve put you through hell, I’m sorry Natasha, Clint, and Wanda all offended you all the time. I’m sorry Sam and Vision don’t pay attention to it, and I’m sorry I haven’t stood up for you once.”

“Buck?”

“I’m sorry Peter had to watch you cry. You aren’t a terrible person Tony. You’re trying to become better and that takes a lot of fuckin’ strength,” Bucky sniffled. “I’m sorry.”

Tony stood shocked. His hands were shaking. He cracked a nervous smile.

“Geez, everyone is apologizing to me now. Who’s gonna do it next? Rogers?” He joked.

“He better apologize, he should’ve been the first,” Bucky bowed his head.

Tony stood up from his char and pat Bucky’s head. “Okay kid. You’re forgiven. Now get outta here, this is Peter and I’s only free time.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> honestly, this was supposed to be the final chapter but I want to leave things on a ... happier note so yep!


	4. Chapter 4

To Bucky’s surprise, Steve was the first one to apologize, the rest quickly followed. It was like a line-up and Bucky’s favorite apology was Sam’s. Sam and Clint’s actually. They did a whole choreographed dance to “girls just want to have fun” for Tony’s entertainment, and then they actually seriously apologized.

Tony sat down next to Peter, and then the kid began rambling about what happened at school and how his friend punched someone jerk in the face. Tony listened, a smile on his face when a loud buzz was heard.

Quickly, all of the Avengers suited up and got ready for a fight. 

“Stay here,” Tony told Peter and left with the rest of the Avengers to fight out what the large  _ crash! _ And  _ bang _ ! That was heard. Bucky looked over at Peter, his fingers twitched and he tapped his foot repeatedly.

“Hey, Pete,” Bucky said. The intern locked eyes with Bucky. “Tony’s gonna be alright.” 

That didn’t help Peter at all, but he tried to calm down nonetheless. “Aren’t you supposed to be out there too?”

Bucky chuckled. “The world’s most wanted criminal? Outside? I wish.”

Peter chuckled nervously. He bolted from his seat and ran out a door, Bucky yelling behind him that Tony was gonna get worried

 

-

 

“Bucky?” 

A large spaceship floated above the Avengers Tower, it was brightly colored and scared the hell out of Bucky. Aliens?! Buck looked at the owner of the voice, Steve, his best friend. The man ran over to him, signaling the other Avengers to stay ready to attack. 

“Steve!” They gave each other a hug, and Buck peeked at Sam winking at him. What a perv.

“What are you doing out here? You’ll get hurt! People will see you,” Steve sounded obviously worried.

“Peter! He ran out!” Bucky held on to Steve and looked around. Where was that kid? Steve’s eyes enlarged in disbelief.

“Tony?” Steve said in his ear comm. 

Bucky didn’t hear Tony respond, he was too busy looking at a blue and red blur swinging through the buildings. The red and blue blur landed with a flip on the Spaceship, his feet holding on to the ship and his hands dangling in the air, he was backward by the way.

Bucky tapped Steve on the shoulder and pointed to the guy with a red and blue suit.

“Who is that?!”

Ironman looked at the bug-like person crawling on the ship. 

“It’s Spider-Man?” Steve shrugged, apparently Tony told him over the ear comm. “Tony, we’re not staying here.” Steve looked annoyed, Bucky kept his eyes on the person climbing over the ship. He crawled into a tiny space and Bucky lost sight of him. 

A second passes, in which Steven was still arguing with Tony (and lost), and the blue and red human got thrown out of the ship. He shot out a white string from what seemed his hands, and swung like Tarzan, landing back on the ship, his feet and hands sticking perfectly on the ufo. 

Then, a male emerged from the ufo. 4 people actually, one a girl. What the hell?

“Thor!” Steve let out in a whisper. Who’s Thor? 

 

-

 

The second everyone got settled down, and everyone in the ship was on land again, Peter reappeared shaking nervously. Tony stepped on the ground and let his suit disappear once again, he looked obviously angry.

“I told you to stay inside,” Tony scolded the intern.

“I was worried! I needed to know what it was! I didn’t want to lose you!” Peter clutched his arm sleeve. Tony looked like he was about to yell at Peter but a warm voice interrupted him.

“Tony?” 

Bucky looked at the short man, his hair was graying and he wore a weird suit, a Stark-like outfit.

“Bruce? Bruce!” Tony hugged the man tightly.

“Dr. Banner! Oh my gosh!” Peter smiled brightly. “Awesome!”

“No Awesome for you! You’re grounded, go inside!” Tony told Peter, Peter eyed him and walked away. 

“You had a kid?” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is short because I'm writing it on Monday and I know I will procrastinate so here you go! Have a great week!


End file.
